ELLEN!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDEjqxHj3zU
please watch this it's a into to the wonderful idea that me and my friend got for going on to the Ellen show!!!

summer happened so fast

Just a thought...

alright so for some odd reason I want to write something nothing profound or anything but just to write and let out some of my thoughts cause I think I really neeed it. So there so many thoughts in my head right now and not to let the world in to the twisted wonderland called my mind but here I go.Ok so my birthday was not to long ago and I started to think about the year and how much I have changed and how much things have changed. I will admit I have done somethings I'm not so proud of but at the same time I would not change a thing cause it's what makes me, me. Next thought I had a job but it was the worst job I have ever had like the people where mean and there were groups and if you ever spoke your own mind everyone would hear about how you talked back and by the time the rumor got back to me it was ten times worse then what actually happened. Next there was this guy that I ran into after a couple months of losing contact with him we hit it off like there was no space in between but that slowly faded once again I don't miss him let me get that very clear but I do miss the kind things like when we would stop and just look and each other and smile and like when we would be sitting here he would grab my hand and the odd time he would hold a little tighter and when we would lay there he would kiss my nose or my forehead and tell me that I was pretty I miss those things lot sometimes but the thing that get to me the most is how it just stopped it's not like we plan it but it's always happens this way we just stopped.Next aright so things arent going great but they aren't going bad either but even when things start to get better and it looks like everything is going so well I'm ALWAYS waiting for the ball to drop the glass to break the milk to spill idk it's like that's all that ever happens to me it's like i'm soo happy and everything is just perfect and then BAM just like that it's all over and everything is a mess and it's just like WHHAAAT just happened!!!Next I look around and it's like everyone is a couple and I'm just alone BUT I DON"T WANT A BOYFRIEND I actually really enjoy being single like I love being single it's great but like that song said "everybody needs somebody sometimes"! I think that song was made for me lol jk but seriously.Next I sometimes feel like I don't have anyone to talk to like i'm all alone like not a person in the world cares about me but I know it's not true but it's just a feeling thats been coming over or a while now.I've also been having a lot a nightmares about a car accident I have a while back and I'm getting that feeling that something is gonna happen like something bad this feeling is a heavy weight on my chest that I'm not sure what to think about it I really just hope I'm wrong about my feelings. Next I can't take it she's driving me crazy it's just like SHUT UP sometimes I mean I love her I do she's great but sometimes it's just like please stay away from me some days I just sit there and scream inside a bit.Next I'm really trying to be a good person I know i'm no saint that's forsure but i'm really trying to change for the better. Well I think that's it for now I'm sure there will be more because I actually feel alot better now like everything is kinda off my chest and outta my head for now anyways.

What if?

Every now and then I stop and think what if...
what if I said something different
what if I would of fixed my hair
what if I would of just laughed at that joke
what if I never told you what I thought about the situation
what if I smiled a little more
what if I would of just gave in
what if I told you how much fun I was having
what if I would of held you a little longer
what if? ....

WHY CAN ANYTHING BE STRAIGHT FORWARD THESE DAYS

Ok so I wanted to text him today but I got side tracked and them by the time I knew it was already 11 o'clock ... I just think 11 o'clock is to late to text someone unless you are really good friend with them and you just don't care haha. Anyways yeah I guess it will just have to wait untell tomorrow!...........................................OK OK!!! so I have something on my mind should I even text him?! I mean he would ALWAYS text me before and I would NEVER text him and now it's like the tables have turned should I stop texting? Ok if he would have stop texting me when I would never text him I would be bummed cause I was interested still it's just I would never text and I have to think maybe he's being that way now and maybe I should still try BUT if he doesn't want me to text him and he thinks everytime I text him I'm annoying?!? oh man it's just so hard why oh why must boys be so difficult!!?? BUUUT on the other hand if he's not really interested that makes me EVEN MORE interested because I have to say I like a good chase don't ask me why I just do! Ok so I think I am going to text him tomorrow and try to remember before 11 o'clock hahaha ok there will be a update tomorrow on the situation let's hope it all goes well! WAIT one more thing ok so I have this job...well...kinda I don't really know he's got all my info and is getting me a employee number and everything buut the weird part is he has not call me for a day to start and it's been like 2 weeks already and I try calling but this girl never lets me through like I don't understand why she can't just let me talk to him!!! IDK!!! I will update on all that too tomorrow ok night y'all!!!

Life is grand isn't it!

MY DAY TODAY

Ok so today I think I was actually very productive so first I woke up at 1 LOL ok I know that sounds totally lazy buuuut I did go to sleep at 5 soo I have the rec amount of sleep ok so shut up LOL. Next I texted janel and then I drove over and we went for a long walk and talked next we went to her house aka brittany's house and jumped on the tramp then we ate then I left and came home and Jho came over and we went for a LONG walk and talked and walked my dog it was good then we went to wing night LOL yeah if I lose any calories I have to get them back lol it's not good to lose anything right hahaha. Then I came back home and played bass and learned a new song and now I'm going to just chill and play sims LOL yeah life is grand isn't it!!

WILL IT EVER GET ANY BETTER THEN TONIGHT?!

Had a amazing night with the girls @AINSLEYGERVACIO & @JHOOJHOOO hahahaha!!!
we stayed up till 4 in the morning and all we did was watch strangers,eat, and tweet
to each other for like 2 hours just saying stupid shit but hahaha and the best part we were laying right bedside each other on ainsley's bed LOL oh man it's the little things that you have to stop and ask yourself will it ever get any better then tonight!
LOVE YA GUYS!!!

WHEN WE SAY NOTHING AT ALL..... WE TEXT IT

kayllurhenry did nothing all day with the girls but still had a amazing night! perfect way to ring in a Wednesday lol
5 minutes ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @kayllurhenry & @JhooJhooo Fuck you assholes! Drive safe and good night!
13 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @ainsleygervacio i think that smell has been following you your whole life lol
14 minutes ago via mobile web

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio it was prob you!! =P it was a good night!!!
14 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio Girls just left! Just walked into my room and it smells like ASS! Thanks guys...lol what a good night!
17 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio & @kayllurhenry yess "SPECIAL" is right!!! Goodnight
19 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @kayllurhenry & @JhooJhooo ok...it takes special people to be in the same room and tweet instead of talking
23 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry to all you player haters If you dont like us tweeting this much suck it cause we dont care!!
24 minutes ago via mobile web

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio I'm not mad :) I'm happy
24 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo @kayllurhenry bitch you coming down with me!!!!
25 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo you're just mad cause it's not your room! Gurl don't be hatin
26 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @jhoojhooo If THIS WAS SPARTA your as would be so down the hole right now!
26 minutes ago via mobile web

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio I agree with you.. Lol We are just talkin smack now xD!!
26 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo Hahahha @kayllurhenry SPARTA sounds better!!! Not "this is @AinsleyGervacio 's ROOM" not cool! XP
27 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @ainsleygervacio who the hell said we ever had it?
27 minutes ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio I don't even know what to say anymore...lol it's 4am and i'm sure we've lost our sanity
28 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @jhoojhooo my face has been calm all day!!
29 minutes ago via mobile web

JhooJhooo @kayllurhenry calm your face!!! iight.. You don't have to be so sensitive =P
30 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry then THIS...IS...AINSLEY'S ROOM!!
30 minutes ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @kayllurhenry no actually this is my room!
31 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo spin my dice? Alright i'm game
32 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry oh man we are all such asses right now! THIS IS SPARTA
33 minutes ago via mobile web

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio S my D!!
33 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo oh shut up you're wide awake now stupid lol
34 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio & @kayllurhenry this wouldn't of happen if you just let me SLEEP!!!!
35 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @jhoojhooo and @ainsleygervacio i wonder If this will be as funny in the morning? hahaha
36 minutes ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @kayllurhenry LOL Fuck you guys need to learn to spell check your shit
37 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @jhoojhooo ITS KINDS HARD WHEN YOU KEEP LEANING ON ME ALL I CAN TO IS PUSH YOUR LAZY ASS OFF!! HAHA
38 minutes ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio While @kayllurhenry & @JhooJhooo fight i get to chill on my side and listen to music
39 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo It's like a fucking see saw okay @kayllurhenry.. Excuse me your the one swinging me around so you're annoying yourself!!
41 minutes ago via mobile web
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry dear @jhoojhooo your fucking annoying!stooop!
43 minutes ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @kayllurhenry dude just kick her square in the taco!
43 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo no...it's too late to apologize...lol
45 minutes ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @jhoojhooo BAHAHAHA I really have nothing to say to that cause it just keeps making me laugh when i read it LOL!
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio eff!! That happened to me soooo many times today!!! Just let me have it DAMN IT!!!!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo you're just mad cause your phone cock blocked you!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio & @kayllurhenry Fuck you guys lol get off my dick!!!! it was my phones fault!!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @jhoojhooo are you to liget to quit bahaha wow lmao
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo ligit? Lol too funny my friend
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo LEGIT!!! I Loves sarcastic people!!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @kayllurhenry you betrayed me!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @jhoojhooo alright good point lets stop being wild animals and stop tweeting!
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo no! There's no fun in that and go eat something your stomache needs to shut up!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo I LOVE MY OVER SIZED SOCKS!!! FTW
about 1 hour ago via mobile web
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry agreed @ainsleygervacio! @jhoojhooo stop shopping at gap and shop at baby gap!
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio & @kayllurhenry can we stop tweeting and just talk to eachother, cause we are all beside each other!! Let's be human!
about 1 hour ago via mobile web
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo you do need normal socks you little baby! Grownup socks don't fit you
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio yessir they can't!! @kayllurhenry yes and then make my hair into a wig and dye it blonde!! And leave my socks ALONE!
about 1 hour ago via mobile web
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry it
s funny cause we are not saying anything to each other but we have this little laugh to ourselves then send something else lol
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @kayllurhenry you're a retard! But i'm tired so that makes sense lol
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @ainsleygervacio yeah but then how would you know im lmao? yeah think about that
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo & @kayllurhenry do you realize we could just be talking to each other? We're laying on my bed...lol
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @JhooJhooo yeah im totally kidding you can sleep cause i will still rip strands out and steal your floppy socks!
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo i know man! They just can't take their eyes off you!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo @kayllurhenry :) that's what I thought.. Teheee
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio oh no you didn't!! Boys think it's sexy!!!!!!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @JhooJhooo oh my you are tired i mean you think i love you wow yeah ok go to sleep lol
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo i don't like insecure fat girls! Haha :)
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio & @kayllurhenry OH SHUSH!!!!! You love me ;)
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo YOU'LL NEVER LIVE YOUR LIFE IF YOU'RE SLEEPING ALL THE TIME!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry @JhooJhooo yeah stop i dont feel like pulling every hair out of your head! lol and stop trying to rest your legs on me lmao
about 1 hour ago via mobile web

JhooJhooo @AinsleyGervacio & @kayllurhenry LET ME BE!!!!!!!
about 1 hour ago via mobile web in reply to AinsleyGervacio
Reply Retweet .

AinsleyGervacio @JhooJhooo stop sleeping!
about 1 hour ago via txt
Reply Retweet .

JhooJhooo 3am!! Soooo tired!
about 2 hours ago via mobile web
Reply Retweet .

kayllurhenry still with @AinsleyGervacio and @JhooJhooo and we are just laying here chilln! the simple things in life are the best! :D
about 2 hours ago via mobile web

Sometime the best thing is when you say nothing at all....TEXT IT!!

smile for me

I am in a good mood and I like it!

I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE

so I'm in a really bad mood right now because I realized I should just stop trying cause it's never going to be what it used to be. This makes me sad :(

HIT THE DAMN SEND BUTTON

So I sit here with a text written and It says the simplest thing
and still I can't hit the send key....man just send it...no don't...ok
I'm going to....wait no what if he doesn't care....what if he thinks i'm crazy
or like stalker ish...no who thinks like that...ok nevermind ...clear

PERFECT TWO

So Jho showed me this song called perfect two and now I can't stop listening
to it. I think it's cause I really miss having someone to have those kind of feelings
for. You know when you get up early and your happy cause they pop in you head, you get dressed nice all the time just incase you see them that day, you hear a song on the radio and right away you think of them and start smiling, you replay cute things they have said or done in you head, you tell your friends all about them and just glow when your talking about them, when your out holding there hand it's like you could care less about anything else cause your so excited to be around them.
I wanna be a PERFECT TWO with someone :( lol

2 out of 20

MY PHONE IS BACK!!!Even that I have my phone back
I can't help but be kinda sad because I was kinda
hoping that I would get the messages that I missed
but yeah this time none of my messages sent so I'm kinda
bummed. I was kinda hoping to see one from you...guess
I'll never know. I really don't know why I care so much
I must of been that thing.... I just don't know why with you!!
ugh.

Something good has to come from this... right?

Ok so I have something that Is bothering me. So there this guy and it's not like
we were really anything or anything it's just that I'm so confused cause when you just stop talking to someone you start to thinking crazy and when i'm alone and
have time to think my brain goes seriously MAD like it just thinks the worst you start over analyzing shit you think of the last time you hung out and what you did, did you say something wrong?, did you smell werid?, did you laugh to hard at something he clearly didn't think was funny, did you miss clues that he's not into you?, did he see that zit on your face?, did your breathe stink?, did you kiss weird?, OR did he just come to the brutal truth that your not pretty enough? I don't know I'm just saying like why does this always happen I mean there has to be something wrong with ME right?!?! it just sucks I guess that's all If this keeps happening I don't know if I can take it I mean rejection is NOT something i'm good at
handleing it's just like you really start looking at yourself as not good enough for anyone it's so werid cause I could care less about what girls have to say about me they can call me fat ugly dumb whatever I DON'T CARE but when it comes to this kinda stuff it's just like a slap in the face AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so confused.

1 button pushed!

OK sooo I think i'm just going to do little rants on here from time to time and here is one. so on twitter....wait am I allowed to say twitter I mean aren't BS and TWITTER kinda enemys??? ok well anyways on twitter you can't write everything that you wanna write and if you do write what you wanna write then it's like you change your "you" to a "U" and you kinda talk a bit G LOL.

so that's just something that pushes my buttons! lol

My shows!!

Why is it that I become so happy from tv shows like GLEE and mtv live and the after show??? Ok I know I'm a loser buuuut I don't care what you player haters say they make me laugh OK!! lol

also next,disaster date,freah meat,ELLEN,wizards, ok there are lots of shows that make me happy!! you can't judge haha jk you totally can

Remember to shine when the suns not

I have come to realize that I really don't care
what anyone thinks of me. People will always talk and
there is no way that everyone will like you. Sooooo
you should just live it up with the ones you love,
blow a kiss to the ones you hate, smile at all the little things
cause at the end of the day those will be the things that sticked in that
thick skull of yours!

Maybe next time

I don't know how I should be feeling about this?
I mean does it suck or is it a good thing this happened
I mean everything happens for a reason right?
Idk maybe he has something better planned for me...
I guess I just have to look at the bigger picture some times.

My life as kayla

So I'm sitting here talking to jho and I'm tired and she's bored and we are both play solitare and I'm winning alot for some reason and she is losing...well she one once!LOL...what else am I doing well I'm drinking powerade wishing I was drinking gatorade haha... and that's my life as shilo! jk shilo is the party animal kayla is the boring normal girl! yeeeeeah